Why not together?
by Dervla
Summary: Well, it's my first fic so don't be mean, and I'm not so sure about the rating. Basically it's a suicide fic....but nobody dies....its how sirius and remus got together. One-shot Complete


Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K Rowling, not me!  
  
Why not together?  
  
I sit alone  
  
I feel his pain  
  
I want to go  
  
I want to know  
  
Why doesn't he love me?  
  
I looked up at Sirius, his perfect face bleached with a smile. Sometimes I dream that I own him, that all his smiles, he smiles for me. I know I sound selfish, but I can't help it. He's just so perfect, I've always know he was the one for me, ever since I met him.  
  
Dark eyes haunt my dreams, Dreams of us together, nightmares of us apart. James knows, or at least I thing he does. I see him look at me when we're all together, and I think he sees my pain. See my problem is just this: Sirius. I love him more than anything, but I don't think he cares about me. Or at least the way I care about him. It's pretty obvious he's straight, I mean he has been out with every single girl in the school, almost.  
  
It hurts me every time he goes out on one of his dates, physical pain, not just mental but physical. I wish I could be the girl, any one of them, every one of them. I want to go on each of his dates, feel his lips on mine, his arms around me. God, I must sound so awful, like a dumb lovesick teen, and I guess that's right, I am lovesick. And that's why it hurts so much.  
  
So much that I carry myself up to the top tower of Hogwarts at sun rise. You see I'm going to jump, and leave this note for them to read. It's not your fault Sirius, it's no ones fault but mine, mine for being such an idiot. For falling for some one I can never have. Well, I don't know what else to say except: I'm sorry, It's not your fault, and Good Luck.  
  
Love you always, Remus  
  
Sirius flew through the sky, around the towers of Hogwarts, climbing in a slowly, his thoughts preoccupied. He could think of only Remus, his Remus.....no, not his, oh that hurt him sooo much. All he wanted was Remus, to be his, to let him hold him and kiss him, and love him. Over the last few months, more like 2 years, all Sirius could think of was how to get Remus.  
  
He had his distractions, of course, but all he really wanted was Remus, but Remus gave of no signs of being anything, not straight, or by...he was just Remus. Maybe it was something to do with the werewolf, but whatever it was, Remus never had dates, or anything to with that.  
  
It was just at this moment, as Sirius thoughts rounded on why Remus never had dates that he heard a small cry from the East tower of the School (him being just meters from it). He rushed round on his broomstick and was stunned to see Remus, the object of his affections, being pulled through the air, at enormous speed, by the force of gravity. Without thinking, Sirius dived down toward Remus, and pulled him onto his broom, speeding to the ground.  
  
The ground sped into view, as Sirius and Remus rushed toward it. Upon reaching the ground, Sirius gently put Remus on his back.  
  
"Remus?!?" Sirius whispered.  
  
Remus slowly raised his head to look at Sirius. He was pale and drawn. In one swift movement of the wind Remus seemed to break down, the walls he had built up around him fell and tears poured from his eyes. Sirius reached out and pulled Remus into his arms, turning Remus' face to his shoulder.  
  
For many minutes they stayed like that, and after what seemed like hours Remus' sobs died of to stifled moans. When Sirius was sure Remus had stopped sobbing he slowly lifted his face in his hands, and rubbed the end of his thumbs along his eye line.  
  
"You okay now?"  
  
Remus was stunned into silence. He took a deep breath and stuttered out "I....i..."  
  
"I'll take that as a yes." A small smile played on Sirius's handsome features. "What happened? Did someone push you off? Or...?" Sirius left it hanging.  
  
"I....." Remus was fully prepared to lie, but the one look in Sirius' eye, and it all came pouring out.  
  
"I jumped....I was upset, and I....i...I'm sorry. I just wanted it to end. I...I love you, and I know it's wrong, and you don't care but I do. I know you can never love me and I shouldn't love you but I do. And always will. I'm sooo sorry." He said this very quickly, and, when finished, promptly looked away.  
  
Remus didn't know what to expect, disgust? Maybe, hate? More than likely. Fear? It's possible. He waited for Sirius to reply, but nothing came. After many strained minutes Sirius reached out and lifted Remus' chin to face. Without waiting, asking or saying anything Sirius leaned forward and brought his lips to Remus'.  
  
Remus was stunned and took a couple of seconds to respond, but when he did he felt the amazing feeling of Sirius' mouth on his, his tongue licking at his lower lip, demanding entry to his mouth.  
  
The kiss last for a full three minutes, and when they pulled back they were both were panting and staring avidly at each other.  
  
"You were wrong Remus. I love you, and there is nothing wrong with you loving me." Sirius smiled at him, "that's as long as you don't mind?"  
  
Remus felt confidence flood his body at Sirius words, "Of course I don't mind, I'm just annoyed you didn't tell me earlier." They both fell into each others arms laughing.  
  
"Well I would have if you had projected any signs I would have." Sirius retorted.  
  
"Whatever," Remus leaned in and kissed Sirius lightly on the lips, "all that matters is that I love you, and you love me, and we both know that."  
  
Sirius stood up and reached out to Remus, "Come along then."  
  
"Where are we going?" Remus asked curiously as he followed Sirius into the Forbidden forest.  
  
"Somewhere I've wanted to take you for many years."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
But Sirius never answered. The dark trees crowded close around them, and Sirius lit his wand. As time passed the sun rose and shone through the forest top. Remus moved closer to Sirius and opened his mouth to speak, but Sirius stopped him, and pushed him through into a clearing in front of them.  
  
Remus was stunned. The clearing was small but beautiful. A small lake glistened in the centre, surrounded by low bushes. The clearing was secluded and extremely private.  
  
"Do you like it?" Asked Sirius nervously.  
  
"I....i love it. It's beautiful." Remus replied.  
  
"I come here a lot, mainly alone. I was here earlier on this morning. I've never brought anyone here before."  
  
"Why?" Remus turned around.  
  
"Because I never loved anyone before."  
  
With that Sirius leaned in and kissed him.  
  
The End.  
  
Well, I hope you liked it. It's my first fic and I had loads of fun writing it. I might write more if you review and tell me truthfully what you think. Thanks! 


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